Is Romance Dead? Living In The Era of Situationships

Growing up, we were all sold the idea of the prince saving the princess from the top of her tower, drive through movies with nervous hand holding, and your dream person standing with a boombox outside your window.

We saw Noah write 365 letters to Allie and paint the shutters on his house blue, Dave read the entire Bible in one night so he could take Lane to prom, and Jack sacrifice himself so Rose could survive.

We expected this growing up. We expected flowers on the first date and doors to be held open for us. What we did not expect is the idea of a date to be out of the realm of possibility. We did not expect people sliding into our DMs and asking “do you want to go for a drive?” What happened to the romance we grew up with? Is it dead?

 

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There are endless factors that have contributed to our new found dating style. Of course a major one is the relationships we build online. With advances in technology and the increased use of social media and dating apps, the majority of the younger generation are meeting people online.

As a recent study by the Economic and Social Research Institute reveals, “more than a third of all young people in Ireland have reported meeting someone face-to-face who they originally got to know online.”

Due to these parasocial relationships, many find it difficult meeting or speaking to new people in person and would rather send someone a text after seeing them on a night out than go up to them in person.

This excessive need to be online is ruining any form of old school romance that we were taught growing up. It is becoming more and more rare to meet someone in person outside of settings like college or work. Love at first sight has turned into a like on an Instagram story.

Access to the internet from a young age has influenced people’s perception of romance through different content creators in the porn industry, ‘alpha male’ podcasters, and how women are portrayed for the male gaze in films and music.

The porn and film industry has been objectifying women for decades, which has led to an inevitable objectification and over sexualisation of women from men. This process has contributed to men’s lack of respect for women and may have even caused romance and chivalry to slowly fizzle out of society.

Many content creators, especially male content creators who push toxic masculinity, have been teaching young men to hide their vulnerability and to suppress their emotions. This, as well as the porn industry, is majorly contributing to men’s feelings towards romance.

The idea of dating apps in theory is a great idea. A place for people to find a partner without having to go through awkward conversations and rejection in person. For many people they work and lead to long lasting relationships. However, for the majority, dating apps are treated like a game of ‘hot or not.’

It can be extremely difficult to find meaningful relationships on these apps and the game-like sequence of swiping left or right solely based on face value is taking the romance out of the prospect of dating someone at all. Hook-up culture and the concept of ‘situationships’ have grown drastically since dating apps have gained popularity.

After all, many on the apps aren’t looking for a relationship at all and simply want something casual. Dating apps are feeding into this fear of in person conversations and relationships. They make it far too easy to not have to engage with someone in person unless it is strictly for sexual purposes.

In September of 2024, there were over “75 million active users for Tinder, over 28 million for Hinge and over 58 million for Bumble.” There are infinite people to swipe through on these apps which makes it very easy to forget that they are real people and not just another face to say yes or no to.

 

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With this many profiles the apps begin to become repetitive. You’d receive the same cringey pickup lines and opening questions which leads to an over saturation of what you initially were looking for and eventually turns swiping left or right into a mechanical, boring habit.

Now hope is not fully lost. Of course there are still many people out there looking for meaningful connections, writing love letters to their partner and spending their weekends on romantic dates. The younger generation are finding themselves taking a step back into the past, taking breaks from social media and socialising more.

A recent study by BBC showed that many young people searching for a romantic, meaningful connection are now turning away from dating apps too. The study showed that in November 2024, “Tinder lost 5,94,000 users, while Hinge dropped by 1,31,000, Bumble by 368,000, and Grindr by 11,000.”

Although social media and the internet have many flaws, they provide some amazing sources for men and women to warn them about the dangerous influence porn and certain content creators can have on young adults and children. Our brains are like sponges and if we consume enough of the wrong material we are bound to absorb toxic information.

So, if you’re looking for some romance put the damn phone down and get yourself out there!